I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
