No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
