There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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