I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
