I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
