Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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