one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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