Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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