i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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