Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
