Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
