party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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