I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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