i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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