you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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