I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
