perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
