I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
