We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
This baby is an asshole
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
