I'm eating all of the evidence.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize