I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
where are my eyebrows?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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