the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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