you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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