in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
