I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
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The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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