Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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