dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I party with great urgency now.
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