cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
