Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Non-Jews are for practice
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
