i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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