Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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