I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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