How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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