so that wasnt chicken after all
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
