It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
