a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
