Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!