I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
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I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
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Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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