He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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