Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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