I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
