Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
