you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
