i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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