The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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