I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
