Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
