do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
