two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
