Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
