Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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