But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
