dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
