Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize