i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Holy sore nipples Batman
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
