I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
