There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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