You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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