Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
