I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
