He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
