is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
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I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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