Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
As shirtless as possible
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
