after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
