you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize