My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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