it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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