your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
