I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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